


Role Reversal

by 9r7g5h



Category: Carmilla (Web Series)
Genre: Fiction, Gen, General fiction, Introductions & Chapters, Literature, Vamp! Laura, prose
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-25
Updated: 2015-09-14
Packaged: 2018-03-08 23:34:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3227717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/9r7g5h/pseuds/9r7g5h
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How Laura being a vampire and Carmilla being human could work out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> AN: I really don’t think people know how much thought I’ve put into Vamp!Laura AU, because here’s the thing: if you’re going to switch Laura and Carmilla, you need to switch everything about them. Not just their places, but their entire situations, because so much of who a person is is based on their experiences and the people who were in their lives. 
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Carmilla: The Series. U by Kotex does.

Instead of the Dean being the vampire, Mr. Hollis would be. He would be the four thousand year old vampire who serves the Light. Who, every twenty years, sacrifices five human beings to the Light to keep the world from falling.

But the thing is, Mr. Hollis is the kind of man who would continuously believe, no matter what horrors he saw, in the goodness of humanity. Knowing that the only requirement for the Light’s sacrifices is that they are alive and human, instead of five random innocents, he would sacrifice five criminals. Five humans who had committed horrible crimes against their own people-five humans who barely deserve that title; they would be fed to the Light, so that a little bit more evil was gone.

And one day, while traveling around the world in the late sixteen hundreds, he finds himself in a small little town. Perhaps his carriage broke a wheel, perhaps he’s just tired and needs to rest for the day. Either way, he finds himself in this little town, barely a collection of mud huts, and he has to stay.

Half way through his stay, while he’s walking around while his carriage is being repaired and he’s seeing if this little group of hovels has anything to offer, he hears a baby crying. And crying.

And crying.                                

He searches for the source of this sound and finds that one of the huts is an orphanage- a dozen children are stuffed into this one room hut, an old woman their only guardian. An illness had passed through the village, killing a handful of families; these children are the ones who lost both parents and aren’t old enough to fend for themselves.

The last death was three days ago, when a young unmarried woman, heavily pregnant, died after giving birth to her daughter. The daughter that is now screaming, screaming and being ignored by everyone there.

Mr. Hollis, being who he is, goes to comfort the child and finds that she hasn’t been fed for two days; there is no wet nurse, none that will willingly feed her, at least, because her mother might have survived the illness had she not been with child, and so this little girl has been abandoned. Left in this hole to die without a name.

This is unacceptable. Mr. Hollis takes the girl with him and finds a woman who can nurse her and is willing to sell her milk to this ‘cursed’ infant. He pays her well, and the moment his carriage is fixed, he leaves with the little girl he’s named Laura.

Once he’s traveled far enough away that no one from Laura’s past could ever find her, he finds another village (again, a small set of huts that barely keep out the cold in winter) and hires a wet nurse to permanently care for Laura as well as her own son. He hires the woman’s husband as his personal manservant, and the two leave to get what they need.

Through Mr. Hollis’s very deep pockets, the two come back a few months later with hundreds of people, all of whom get to work on building the mansion Mr. Hollis has decided to live and raise his newest ‘minion’ in (because why else would he come back? He could set the family up with enough money to take care of little Laura and just go, never looking back. But having someone who would follow him to the end of the world and never look at him scared, someone who loved him despite the monster he was? That was worth returning).

Within six months the mansion is built, the forest has been cleared and turned into grasslands for the sheep and cattle Mr. Hollis bought as an investment, and the entire village has been razed to the ground and rebuilt with stone and wood and proper roads.

Because Mr. Hollis held Laura in his arms and watched her as she smiled up at him and tried to grab his chin, and she slipped from being a minion to his daughter, the little girl he would do anything for.

So he builds a perfect world for her. A house full of beauty and comforts for her to grow up in (he quickly relocated the wet nurse, her husband, and their children the moment the mansion was done), hundreds of servant, animals, and care takers who love her (they’re paid more than well for their services, and will do anything to take care of the daughter of the man who single-handedly pulled them from poverty), and a village near by that’s just as beautiful as their home (there is no poverty, no hunger or illness; the city has the finest doctors and the greatest artisans, and even those who sweep the shit from the streets are richer on their own than some of the villages nearby combined). 

He creates a perfect world for his little Laura to grow up in, so she’ll never have to experience the pain he knows is out there.

And grow up little Laura does. When she gets older, she spends her days running through the halls with the little boy (let’s call him Timmy) she nursed with. Laura and Timmy bother the cooks for cookies, beg the caretakers to let them ride on the backs of the cows when they’re moving between the pastures, and constantly go into town with Timmy’s Mother/Laura’s Wet Nurse to watch the glass blowers or the gold shapers or the candle makers practice their crafts (they both often leave with some little nick knack, like a glass flower or golden ring or candle shaped like a man’s smiling face).

Mr. Hollis spends his time watching his little Laura grow up; a blessing and a curse, for he knows, one day, she will get old and die, for how can he turn her into a monster like he is? How could he spend every day for the rest of eternity looking at this child and knowing he killed her, just so he wouldn’t be alone?

When Laura is fourteen Mr. Hollis starts discussing the prospect of marriage; there are many young men who have come to him, asking for an arrangement to be made. All of whom he’s turned down, of course, for he refuses to force Laura into anything she doesn’t want. But it is something that needs to be considered, so one day, when he’s in his study and she’s reading by the fire, he brings up the idea to her.

Laura, all her life, has told her father everything. Her thoughts and her dreams, her hopes and her fears, everything. So, when Laura becomes very uncomfortable with the idea of marriage, Mr. Hollis becomes concerned. Why would she keep something, anything from him? It takes some prodding, but, eventually, he gets it out of her.

It’s not the idea of marriage that distresses Laura. It’s the idea of marriage to a man, and everything that would come with it.

Mr. Hollis just smiles; at four thousand years old, he has seen everything there is to see. So, he promises Laura that, when it is time to for her to marry, he’ll find someone like her- a man who is interested in other men, someone who would be her friend and husband in name, but nothing more. If they wanted children, they could adopt. When, eventually, she found a woman she would fall in love with, no one would bat an eye if she took this woman to be her personal servant, since everyone would assume she was only a servant and Laura spent her nights with her husband.

He describes this entire ruse, memorizing every detail for when he would need to enact it in a few years, and decided that every word was worth it as Laura, his little Laura, smiles at him the way she does that makes him grateful that wheel broke in that little village all those years ago.

Laura continues to grow, happily encased in the world her father has built for her; she hears about the terrors and horrors of the world outside their city and estates, and while she’s curious and wishes to see the world, her father’s promise that they will see everything she wishes when she’s older appeases her. For now, at least.

She’s not entirely safe from pain, though. She has her fair share of bumps and bruises, colds and a horrible bout with the flu that almost steals her life. But over all of these she prevails.

Over all physical pain she’s prevailed, but then she’s fourteen and convinced she’s in love with the glass maker’s daughter, convinced that the daughter is in love with her, only to find out the same day that she is going to ask the girl to become her ‘personal maid’ that the girl is in love with someone else. A young man, one of the pie maker’s sons, and they are to be married in a month.

Her heart is broken, to the point that she’s sobbing into Mr. Hollis’s chest and he has to restrain himself from murdering the foolish children who did this to his little girl. For days she mourns, spending her time sobbing, refusing to eat, almost making herself sick with grief from this rejection of the first person she loved.

But again, just like the physical pain, she eventually heals. She spends time with Timmy (who, when she finally comes out of her room, is found asleep before the door; he’s been sleeping there this entire time, just waiting for his friend to come back to him), visits the animals in the field (one of the men presents her with a puppy, a tiny little fluff ball who never leaves Laura’s side), and into town (but never to the glass maker’s or the pie baker’s).

Laura grows up. She’s a few months away from being eighteen, and between the ‘surprise’ birthday party Mr. Hollis has decided to throw and the sacrifice to the Light coming up soon, he is a very busy man.

Again, he refuses to sacrifice the innocent to the Light, so instead he takes a few day’s leave and travels between some of the surrounding towns, finding five criminals that he buys from the prisons and brings to his home, where he locks them in their own private room in a special wing that he specifically had built for these five. For while he is a monster he is not cruel, and he will make sure the last month of these people’s lives are wonderful.

He tends to their every need himself, and forbids that anyone else ever go near that wing.

Laura doesn’t listen. She’s stupid and curious and believes the worse danger is getting your heart broken, and so when Mr. Hollis finishes tending to the people, she sneaks in and tries to talk to them.

The first won’t speak to her. Refuses to say a single word no matter how much she needles him. Keeps quiet the entire time, because he killed every single one of those people for the sin he knew they carried, and he didn’t want to again. Didn’t want to find out what sin this sweet child held, the reason he would have to slit her throat the moment he got out, so he kept quiet.

The next woman cursed her out and ran her off. She too wanted nothing to do with Laura; she had long since accepted her fate, and just wanted to get on with it. Mr. Hollis had promised that there would be no pain, which was more than could be said of the gallows. All she wanted was no pain.

The next two lied to her. Promised they were innocent, that it was all a misunderstanding. That Laura had to let them out, had to be a good girl and get the key from her father to keep him from making a horrible mistake.

She was smart enough not to believe them, and avoided those doors after.

The fifth, though, he was clever. When Laura came to his door, he didn’t deny who he was-he had killed, and so was being punished for it. But he showed an interest in Laura, asked about her day and her friends and her pet, about her hopes for the future and the plans she had had in the past and everything that made Laura herself. He spoke sweetly, much like Mr. Hollis himself, and, slowly, Laura began to trust him.

When she finally asked for detail about what he had done, he told her the truth (at least, a version of it). Yes, he had killed a woman, but accidentally, out of self-defense. He had walked into the wrong home after a few drinks with some friends, she had immediately come at him with a knife without giving him the chance to leave, and he had pushed her away. She fell, hit her head, and the sheriff arrived a few minutes later to make the arrest.

(There had been a knife, yes, that was true. A knife she had grabbed after he finally finished with her. He had expected her to curl up on that pile of straw and start thinking of names for the child he had undoubtedly planted in her belly, but instead she had grabbed a knife and tried to kill him. He had pushed her away so she fell, that again had been true. But after she hit her head she hit it again and again and again, until her skull gave in and he had to be torn off of her by the returning husband and sons. 

One of his happier memories, feeling his fingers stick together from the red and peeling them apart.)

Laura, who had never known the world and what it could hold, accepted this telling of the tale as true, and began to believe that, perhaps, Father had made a mistake in claiming this man a criminal. He was sweet and kind and gentle of word; could he truly be blamed for a mistake?

Mr. Hollis, like always, finished caring for his prisoners before heading on out. There were still a lot of things that needed to be ready for his little Laura’s birthday, and there was no time to waste.

So focused on his task was he that Mr. Hollis didn’t notice when the key to the rooms went missing, along with his daughter.

It wasn’t until a little while later, when he was searching for Laura to get her opinion on colors (it was a surprise party, yes, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t have a say in the colors of her tablecloths) that he realized Timmy was in the house and no one else had seen Laura for hours.

Mr. Hollis knows his daughter; knows that she’s curious and sheltered and knows nothing about the world outside of the little town she grew up in. Knows that she could easily be pulled in by the man behind that door and the sweet lies he told her.

The dog is dead by the time Mr. Hollis gets to the room, its teeth barred in a bloody snarl and its neck snapped, broken by bloody hands that are attacking his daughter. One around her neck, Laura’s face turning blue as she weakly tries to remove the grip keeping her pinned against the wall, while the other is under her dress, its owner whispering in her ear everything he was going to do to her before he let her die.

He doesn’t, can’t, think- in less than a moment both Laura and Mr. Hollis are covered in blood, drenched from the limbs he tore and the corpse he destroyed. A waste of a death, for he refuses to drink from this creature after he’s done, instead just throws the remains across the room and waits.

Because in less than a second, Mr. Hollis revealed himself to be the monster he truly is by saving Laura from the one she believed didn’t exist. Showed who he truly is to the one person he had sworn would never know.

But Laura doesn’t care. The man covered in blood standing before her, with bits of skin and pieces of flesh between his teeth and under his nails, is still her father, still the man who’s cared for and loved her for her entire life; who has only done everything he could to protect her and keep her safe.

She hugs him as close as she can, ignoring the remains that covers the room, and continues to hold him until they both stop crying.

When they’re finally able to form complete sentences, Mr. Hollis summons Laura’s former Wet Nurse, her husband, and Timmy to them. The Wet Nurse takes Laura to get a bath and have the dressed burned (as beautiful as it is, the blood will never come out. And even if it did, she would never be able to bring herself to wear it again). The husband, Mr. Hollis’ personal manservant, who has known for years what his master is, starts making preparations to have the body buried and the room cleaned and redone, all evidence of the man erased from sight. Timmy, who is just learning who his family serves, helps (only because Mr. Hollis told his manservant what happened the moment Laura was out of the room, and Timmy realizes he almost lost his very best friend. Once he knows this, he’s more than happy to help).

When they’re both cleaned up and the servants have gotten started on tearing apart the room so it can be rebuilt clean and new, Mr. Hollis sits down with Laura and tells her his own secret- he’s a vampire, a monster, and he would understand if she hated him. He starts blabbering on about how he has a handful of marriage proposals, all young men much like herself, who would make good friends and good pretend husbands. He talks about how he understands if she wants nothing to do with him, for who would? Who would ever want to be near someone like him, a monster that preys upon the innocent in the dead of night, forced to take life from others.

He explains about the Light, how it demands the lives of five every twenty years, and how the process to prepare them for the sacrifice changes them. How, by the time he’s done, they’re willing to walk into the Light and die.

He explains his past, who he is and how he came to be, and just keeps on talking until there are no more words, until the night’s long since passed and morning has been present for hours. He keeps talking, trying to put off the inevitable rejection Laura would give, until his voice finally falls silent and he can’t anymore.

Laura, after remaining quiet this entire time, asks him to turn her.

She asks him to turn her because Laura realizes she’s weak. She’s weak, reliant on others to take care of her, and had her father walked in a few moments later, she would be dead. She’s been a fool to believe that nothing bad could ever happen because Father and the world seemed to love her, and it’s time that she’s come to her senses.

Besides, even with everything he’s told her, how could spending eternity with him be a bad thing?

At first he refuses; Mr. Hollis doesn’t want this life for his child, even though she herself points out that he doesn’t kill often, that he’s perfected the ability to drink without killing and he could teach her. They didn’t have to be monsters, and could spend their time protecting others.

He still refuses, but only until after she turns eighteen.

A few days later, Mr. Hollis and Laura leave for another village to find a sacrifice to replace the one Mr. Hollis killed. Laura tags along to finally see what the real world is like, so she can look another piece of evil in the eyes and understand that they are human, and are soon to die. Mr. Hollis needs her to understand what the world is like if she is going to spend eternity in it, and he wants her to fully understand the decision she’s going to make.

Laura, even after she meets the replacement, after she sees the constant starvation and poverty most of the world lived in, even after witnessing the sacrifice herself a month later (tied to a pole so she didn’t follow the dancing sacrifices over the edge of the pit), she still chooses to be turned.

Because the Light devoured the evil, her Father only drank from those who had committed crimes or, if an innocent became involved, never let them die, and being turned would give her the chance she needed to be strong and make a difference in her world.

So, life continues on as normal. Laura spends her time with Timmy, discussing her choice and how things were going to change because of what she had decided to do. How he would one day die while she stayed forever eighteen, and how she would never have to feel fear again. How, once she was turned, things would never be the same again.

Mr. Hollis threw himself into planning Laura’s birthday party. It was the last his little girl was ever going to have, so it had to be one she would remember throughout all the ages she would exist.

It truly was magnificent. A feast that fed hundreds of people, every single person who worked on the estate or lived in the village. Presents piled higher then she was tall, that took half of the night for her to open and thank those who had given the item to her. Dancing and laughter, even a version of the Waltz that she did with Timmy, much to many people’s scandal. For the entire day, she lived the human life she would soon be leaving behind.

The next night Laura fell ill, and a few days later, as far as everyone knew, she passed.

Mr. Hollis stayed for two more weeks, a weary, exhausted figure to any who saw him. Many feared he would go the same way as his daughter, to an early grave brought on a by a broken heart. He had lost his daughter, the only person in the world he truly cared for.

How could he continue on, when she was all he had lived for?

For two weeks he held on, just long enough to find a justice of the peace to oversee his will. Mr. Hollis turns over all of his estates and its yearly income to his manservant, Timmy’s father, and makes sure that Timmy is his heir, to inherit everything that was once his when his father dies. For two weeks he stays, packing only just what he absolutely needed- a few pairs of clothing, some nick knacks he might need in the future, and a number of dresses that were once Laura’s (for the poor man still believed she was alive).

For two weeks he remained before climbing into the carriage that had brought him here all those years ago and, without a single word, left.

Left, as most people believed, to find someplace far away to die in peace.

Little did they know that, a few hours after he left, Mr. Hollis pulled over, opened the door, and found Laura-a new, strong, alive Laura who was thrumming with the blood of the animals she had been hunting for the last two weeks to sate the new born blood lust-waiting for him.

Waiting for him so they could continue the life they had left behind anew.


	2. Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Sorry this took so long. With classes back in full swing, it’s hard to find some time to just sit down and write. I hope you like part 2, though, and hopefully part 3 is able to be written soon! 
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Carmilla: The Series. U by Kotex does.

For months, Mr. Hollis makes her wait. Makes her wait until she knows how to hunt, can chase down the fastest prey with her strength and her wit, making sure it never lived longer then it took for her to find it. Until he could teach her to hide the bodies, always animals, so their secret would be safe. Until he had taught her to catch and drink and not kill, leaving the deer in a drunken, blood loss stupor instead of the corpse they were used to. 

Mr. Hollis makes her wait until Laura knows just how much of a monster she now is, and until she learns how not to be.

It was only after these lessons had been learned that they started to make their way towards the closest town, arriving in the dead of night so they could wash away the grime that came from living in the woods for almost an entire year. Even though they had done their best to maintain themselves, there is only so much that could be done in the middle of the forest, and blood is not the easiest liquid to remove from cloth. So an inn keeper who couldn’t care less who slept in the beds, a washer girl more than well paid for her silence, and within a few days they look less like ghouls and more like proper members of society once again. 

Members of society who were there only just long enough to test if Laura had enough control to be around humans. 

Mr. Hollis breaks the carriage wheel himself this time, ensuring that a three, perhaps even four day layover in their travels (to his mother’s home estates, if anyone asks) is guaranteed, giving Laura the chance she needs. The chance to see if everything he has taught her stays when she’s surrounded by prey much more enticing then an elk or buck, prey that can talk and smile and break down the strongest of barriers before you even realize they’ve gotten too close. 

Animals, at least, know what they are. Animals run, flee, try to find some safe cavern to curl up in until the guaranteed death that they are passes them over. Humans, on the other hand… humans almost seemed to long for them. 

It was hard; hard for Laura to keep her fangs withdrawn and her smile natural, lest she give away who they are and begin the rumors of walking dead (her father had told her about the last time vampires have been confirmed to exist. The result had horrified her-not because a single vampire had been harmed, but because the humans had turned on each other so quickly it sickened her. It was that kind of evil they were trying to fight, to rid the world of, and if knowledge of her existence caused it, then she had to make sure no one knew). It was the hardest thing she had ever done, not draining the person closest to her dry every time they glanced her way or spoke or breathed, harder than it had been to stop drinking the blood flowing from the deer she had chased down, her rightful prey. 

It’s hard, but Laura prevails, and when her and Mr. Hollis break into the prison later that night, she’s able to stop herself from killing the men she drinks from, instead leaving them light headed and believing it was all just a dream. 

Laura passes the test, and with that behind her, her life truly begins. 

Just like he promised they would, they travel. All across Europe, visiting every single town they can find, Mr. Hollis and Laura slowly make their way across the continent. They taste the foods, see the sights, and hunt down the men and women who would dare to do harm to their neighbors, leaving them passed out on the stoops of the law enforcement each night they stay in a town. 

No one notices the puncture wounds that cover their sides or the back of their thighs when they’re thrown in prison, and if anyone ever notices that Laura and Mr. Hollis never truly eat, at the very most nibbling the edges of the plates of food they buy to only gain a taste, no one thinks to ask. 

For eighteen and a half years they travel. Laura loves it; after a lifetime of living on her father’s estates and being protected by an entire city of people, it’s a refreshing feeling to see something unknown, to not know the faces that walk besides you as you try to find your way back to the inn or store, neither of which you’ve ever been in before. There’s a thrill in learning something new, something that can’t come from books or governesses, and the options were finally there for Laura to discover. 

Laura loves to travel, but nineteen and a half years after she had been turned, Mr. Hollis forces her back home, back to the estates she had grown up on and the town she had loved, all so they could find the newest of the sacrifices. 

Mr. Hollis takes care of the search. Although Laura has more than proven herself capable, for the last four thousand years he has been the one to feed the Light, the sole provider of the sacrifices, and while one day Laura will be by his side as he chooses the souls to give, for now, he goes alone. Leaving Laura at the estates, face to face with her dear, much older Timmy. 

Much has changed about the two, but the fact that they are, and always will be, friends has not. 

The now middle-aged Timmy meets them at the door, smile wide and arms open as they cross the threshold that used to be theirs, making it clear that they were more than guests. They’re family, long lost but now returned, family that hadn’t aged a day and he couldn’t wait to get caught up with. 

Mr. Hollis takes his leave shortly after the initial pleasantries are over, his manner and the cryptic hints he leaves about their soon to arrive guests all Timmy needs to know about the reason for their visit. He calmly mentions that the rooms shall be ready and offers Mr. Hollis a horse, waiting until the man had disappeared on its back before leading Laura to his study, where she had once spent her days reading by the fire. 

For hours they talk, about the places she had been and the people she had met, about the young woman Timmy had taken for his wife and the hoard of children they were raising, about how the town they had been raised in had changed so much yet was still the same. About the books they had read and the art they had seen. About the thousands of thoughts they had had over the almost twenty years they have been apart, thoughts they had wanted nothing more than to share with their very best friend but couldn’t. 

Laura told him what it was like to be a vampire, to suck the life from the ones she had hunted until they could barely breathe, chests heaving as she drained them almost dry (the few slip ups she had had since she was turned; no deaths thanks to her father, but she had come close). How the strength and the smells and the ability to walk through the night knowing no one could see was almost enough to leave her drunk, as drunk as a vampire could get without draining a brewery. How soon her father would teach her how to transform, to reshape herself from human to animal, a useful skill when they would need to one day disappear from the earth, their human forms too well known to not be caught. 

Timmy tells her what it’s like to grow old, so different from the growing up they had done together. To wake up to his first gray hair, to realize the wrinkles that lined his cheeks weren’t always there, to feel himself unable to life the bags he had carried his entire life, his back physically unable to take it. To carry the weight of the world on his shoulders when the men and women he had hired look towards him when things go wrong to put them to right. How much he almost wished Mr. Hollis had never given him this responsibility to take after his father had died, because what if he failed? 

He tried to explain how it had felt to hold his first born in his arms, but words failed him (the only time Laura felt envy for her friend, that she would never experience being a parent, watching a child she had birthed grow into their own adult. A small envy, for the promise of a thousand years to help keep the children of others safe was more than enough compensation). 

Timmy tells her how their world has changed: both his parents died, and he promises to take her to their grave soon, so she can pay her respects to her former Nurse and her father’s former Man Servant. How their town has grown even more, edged on by the wild success they’ve been experiencing. There had been an illness, one that the doctors couldn’t fight, but they came out alright on the other side, only a handful of the old and the very young lost. 

Life continued on without her, and for a few moments, Laura’s sad. She doesn’t regret her decision, not at all, but still the feeling settles deep in her bones. 

It’s not until the sun rises that they part, him to get some work done before he sleeps and her to the room he’s always kept prepared for guests, with a soft bed and clean clothes and a maid who asks if she wants a bath drawn before she retires (who also becomes a quick snack; just a few sips from an offered wrist, for apparently Timmy keeps at least a few members of his staff informed about the types of visitors he could be expecting. It’s not hard to feed from her; the maid is lovely, she’s willing, and when Laura licks the wound closed before sliding into the tub, her face is flushed and it’s clear she’s more than eager to please).

She sleeps well, unknowingly exhausted from being on the road for such a long time, time that she hadn’t even realized was wearing down on her. It’s late afternoon when she wakes again, the same maid from before there to offer her other wrist before helping Laura to dress. Timmy’s waiting outside the room when they’re done, a young man standing next to him, waiting so they can take a trip into town so Laura can see just how much it’s changed for herself. 

It takes a while for her to agree, out of fear of being recognized by those who think her dead, but Timmy reassures her by giving her a veil, claiming that, if any ask, she’s from a far off country, traveling with her companions to see the world. That she’s a guest to their town, and no one would think to give her more than a second glance. 

She finally agrees, hides her face behind the semi-sheer cloth, and follows Timmy out of the house, off the estates, to see how her home has changed. 

She almost doesn’t recognize it. 

Streets twisted and turned, leading to alleys she had never seen, never known, couldn’t even being to fathom as they lead through the newly created Crafter’s road. Where once homes and businesses lived side by side, they were now segregated, each to their own section, their own world, expected to be kept separate by the inhabitants of both. Where once she could have stood and watched the bread maker bake and the smith forge horseshoes and a dozen others practice their art, now they were shunted to the side and closed off. Stacked on top of one another like animals, shoving for space to make their products, there was none of the wonder she remembered. 

Even the residential areas were almost no better, despite what Timmy said. And in a way, he was right. The city had grown out, spread until it covered the fields that had once fed them, but it had also grown up. The sky could barely be seen between the towering roofs, roofs that housed two, three, four families, where once there had been more than enough space for one family per. The illness he had spoken of didn’t surprise her as she watched almost half a dozen children spill out of one door, running to classes or work to keep their families fed from their apprenticeships. The city was thriving, yes, but from the backs of the poor her father never would have allowed. 

Timmy might have been the Lord of the area, but he held about as much power as the lowest of the low, unable to keep the city the paradise her father had first built it as. 

After that, Laura rarely left the estate, going into town only to hunt on the (thankfully) few whom tried to prey on their neighbors. Although she loved to see the world, see how things were different and how they had changed, she had never thought that would happen to home. That Silas could be almost unrecognizable in the almost two decades she had been gone. 

But change Silas had, and it almost hurt to see.

The estates had never changed, Timmy made sure of that. Although the faces had shifted, former employees replaced by the younger, more vibrant lads, the paths between the grazing fields remained the same. Cows and sheep and even a few goats still dotted the pastures, clustered around the sweetest patches of grass or the watering holes as dogs made their laps, ensuring that nothing came close to the fences keeping the animals inside. The gardens were flourishing, just had they had been the last time she had set eyes upon them, the food that would feed the household and all its inhabitants growing rapidly under the peaceful sun. 

She could close her eyes and still find the paths through the woods she and Timmy had once played on when they were young, a little bit of normalcy she was thankful for. 

Timmy eventually introduced her to his wife, only a few years younger than he was, a woman who took their explanation of how they knew each other with only a few moments of terrified silence, her eyes wide as she realized the tales he had once told her about the previous master of the house had been true. A few moments for her to realize just who Laura was, what Laura was, and then she was done. 

She offers Laura some tea, asks if she needs to fetch a servant so she could feed, and when Laura politely turns the offer away, sits quietly with them as they talk. She’s judging her, Laura knows, but she can’t bring herself to care. For so long as she keeps the secret, so long as the word ‘vampire’ never crosses her lips and exposes her, Laura is happy to let the woman Timmy loves judge her.

So long as the secret was safe, all was well. 

The same happens when Laura meets Timmy’s oldest son, his heir, a bright young lad who had heard the stories from childhood and always believed, never questioning the things his father told him. He had always known that the darkness held secrets, and Laura was just a confirmation of what he already knew. 

Within a day, he had promised to continue to serve her after his father passes, and that his own children would do the same for as long as the line continued. So long as his blood lived in the Silas Manor, she would always be welcome to come and serve the Light. 

Mr. Hollis returns a few weeks later, five criminals in tow, ready to be thrown into the rooms that Timmy had prepared for them. Rooms that had seen very little use in the last twenty years, since the last group of mortals had been devoured. 

Timmy insists on meeting them, after Mr. Hollis and Laura had moved them into their new quarters, neither bothering to listen to the lies that fell from their lips during the transfer. He wants to know their crimes, to know for sure that the ones to be fed were truly the cause of so much harm that they deserve it (he knows the evil, has no qualms about ridding the world of a little bit more, but parts of him have trouble accepting so easily that soon, these five souls will be gone. He has to be sure).

Neither of them can refuse him. Instead, with them both standing guard to make sure nothing happens to him, they allow Timmy to make his way down the line, talking to each of the five Mr. Hollis brought back.

It doesn’t take long for Timmy, pale and shaken from the stories the most truthful and willing to take member of the five had told him, to return to them, all doubt gone from his mind. Even if the stories the woman had told him had been falsehoods, the very fact that she wanted to do those things, that she had been smiling the entire time she’d been talking, had convinced him. 

The sacrifice goes off without a hitch, the five souls dancing into the light that called towards them, willingly letting themselves be enveloped as they fell from the cliff’s edge. 

Even after the ceremony is over, though, Mr. Hollis and Laura stay. Not because they’re reluctant to leave- after seeing the state their home had fallen into, even though the estates remain the same, they’re eager to move on, to continue their travels. Seeing Timmy and his kin had been nice, but that didn’t change the sorrow they had felt at seeing their home change so much in such a short period of time. 

It had made Laura think about how it would be different a hundred, two hundred, a thousand years from now, and the idea had been unimaginable. 

Instead they stay because it is a safe place for Mr. Hollis to continue his lessons, to continue teaching Laura how to hone the skills she had been using instinctually for the last twenty years. To strengthen her control against the creature within, to keep her humanity on the surface so it would force itself through when she was at her weakest. To keep herself in check, so that, when he continued onto the next lesson, she wouldn’t lose herself to the creature she became. 

For months they work in secret, Mr. Hollis trying and failing to explain the shift she needed to feel, the change from herself to herself that made all the sense in his mind but none in the words he tried to find. The pain and freedom that would come from shedding her human skin, which would allow them to move on from the home that barely seemed known. 

For months they practice, keeping to themselves, discussing their plans with Timmy; they were done with Europe, at least for now. Laura still wanted to see the world, and Mr. Hollis knew of a ship that was leaving in a few weeks’ time for other shores. They would be on it, maybe, if Laura could learn. 

She does, and Timmy figures it out when he finds their rooms empty and one of his boys come to tell him about the strangest sight: an old bear had been seen at the edge of the field, wandering peacefully back into the woods. It wasn't the bear that caught their attention, though- it was the small white rabbit perched on its back, happily riding along as the old brown bear went into the woods that they found strange. 

Timmy just laughs and shrugs them off, for he knows his friend and her father, no matter the form they take.

A little sad that Laura and Mr. Hollis just left without saying good bye, Timmy goes about his day, working hard to fix some of the issues he realizes he’s let slide, issues that he saw Mr. Hollis and Laura being disappointed over; issues he’s ashamed at having pushed away and forgotten about. 

He works to fix these things, and when he finally goes to bed, the maid who had been serving Laura and Mr. Hollis brings him a note. 

_I’ll see you soon, my friend. – L._

Enclosed is a lock of rabbit fur Timmy keeps on his bedside table for the rest of his life. A constant reminder of his very best friend, and the fact that she would, one day, return to Silas Manor. 

A return where Timmy wouldn’t be there to welcome her, a fact he hoped she’d forgive him for.


	3. Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How Laura being a vampire and Carmilla being human could work out. Part 3.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: Hey guys. Sorry it took so long for me to write this third part! I got into a little bit of a slump with this fic, and I just couldn’t get happy with it. Now, though, I’ve actually been writing a lot these last few weeks, and I’m really happy with how things are turning out! So, please have chapter 3 in Role Reversal. I hope you all enjoy, and I hope chapter four doesn’t give me half as much trouble as this one did. XD
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Carmilla. U by Kotex does.

The next twenty years are spent on boats, sailing from port to port, Europe to Asia to Africa, Mr. Hollis buying and selling ships as they please. Partly just because they’re only there for travel, partly because they would feel bad if they forced their crew away from home for too long, and partly because, when it came down to it, closed spaces weren’t in their best interest. Too few people to feed off of, too many watching them, no place for them to be alone, always having to hide who they were.

Every other port, they send their crews back to their home with cargos full of whatever trade good that port specialized in and pockets full of gold, both to pay for their services and to buy whatever secrecy was needed.

Laura loves it.

After the disappointment that was home, it’s good to be back on the road, seeing all the things the world has to offer. Cultures and religions she spends weeks studying, constantly asking questions of the men and woman who humor her curiosity and give her the answers she’s seeking, even though they’re never enough. Languages for her to learn that even Mr. Hollis sometimes struggles with. When his tongue fumbles over the unfamiliar sounds, prompting an apology that’s normally laughed off, for at least he was trying. Foods to try, people to meet, books to read, and the entire world to experience.

They only stay a month or two in each place at the most, just long enough for Laura to start to fall in love with somewhere, want to stay and see her friends live out their lives and the next generation begin. See the rise and fall of these civilizations for the millennium they’re going to last. Just long enough for her wanderlust to wane ever so slightly before they’re packing up and leaving.

She understands why- the longer they stay, the longer they prey upon those who would harm their own and hurt the innocent, the more the rumors grow. Once or twice they can get away with leaving the criminals on the nearest law enforcement’s door, but how much beyond? The longer they stay, the more dangerous it is for them and the people they care for. And they can’t chance that.

So every so often they leave. If by boat, it’s a quick trip, just over to the next harbor, where their song and dance starts anew until it meets the same inevitable end: hurried good byes said when the whispers start to gain concrete details they wish to avoid, never to be seen again. She’s used to it now, as much as someone can be used to the constant upsetting of their lives, but she chose this. She chose this path, and when it came down to it, Laura was happy.

Happy with her lot in life, even if it was hard.

If they left by land, however, things changed. Things being skin to fur and nails to claws, their bodies realigning themselves into their animal counterparts to train.

Laura had been miffed, when she had finally figured out how to change her form, to find herself a hare. Something small and soft and fuzzy, a creature of no concern, when she had been expecting something at least like her father’s- at least a bear could fight, could hold its own, was feared by those who saw it. But as miffed as she was, Laura quickly accepted it- it was who she was, and, as her father was quick to show her the next time he found an animal fighting ring, before he shut it down, hares were, indeed, quite fierce.

Quick, with sharp claws, they were prey animals, yes, but still they could out wit and blind their opponent if the opportunity arose.

So whenever they traveled by land, Mr. Hollis insisted she do it as a hare. In part because it was safer- they could both take care of themselves, yes, more than hold their own against any kind of danger that might arise while they traveled, but still saver nonetheless for those who might try to hurt them. A man traveling by himself, while a good target, wasn’t worth the risk if he looked poor, a precaution Mr. Hollis took on land, when traveling by foot instead of the carriage he had left as Silas. With no visible signs of wealth, most left him alone, and the few who tried anything found themselves a cup or two lighter in fluids when they awoke.

But they both knew men; Laura had seen her fair share of the evils they could cause, evils Mr. Hollis had been fighting against for centuries, and a single man with a very pretty young woman? It was asking for trouble, and would have more than likely resulted in one of their attackers dead. A death of an evil, yes, but a death nonetheless. And when they were trying to avoid death as much as they were?

So as a hare she remained.

The other reason was so she could practice keeping her shape, holding together the form she had only recently learned was available to her. Curled protected in Mr. Hollis’ arms as he walked, crossing the terrain for her, it gave Laura the time she needed to practice. Practice forcing away the fears and confusions hares felt, keeping her humanity as close to the surface as she could, always present lest she lose herself and forever remain stuck as a pet.

It became easier the longer she practiced, easier to fight away the constant need to check her surroundings- even as a hare, animals avoided her, as if they knew what she truly was-and all the other little ticks and habits her form brought. Learned how to push them to the side, to reminder herself that, while her animal form was weak, scared, a reflection of who she had once been, she herself was not.

In both forms she was faster than any human, smarter, went unnoticed by all but the most observant, and found life all the more enjoyable for the surprises they brought.

She started stalking their prey- spending the days hidden in crevices even she would have over looked, searching for someone with that wicked glean in their eyes that she had become used to seeing, often leading them away from their intended target, for who wouldn’t want an easy meal of rabbit? Especially when it was such a friendly bunny, willing to walk right up to them? And if that friendly bunny hopped down a side alley when they tried to catch it, well, they just had to go after it.

Because a meal was a meal, no matter how it was gotten.

Leaving them dazed in that alley, Laura actually feel good about what she was. When before her and her father had had to feed right after the crime was committed, or interrupt it’s happening-ways that allowed the harm to happen, even in part, if only because there was no other way-, now they could prevent it all together. And it seemed like it worked, at least for a little while, to deter those who would spread their harm, for whenever those she had fed off of revived themselves, they went straight home instead of their intended target’s, desperate to be away from the terror she brought and the fears she instilled within them.

She reveled in that fear, and took delight in how they cringed when, a few days later, she sat on their porch and watched them fear her.

It’s a guilty pleasure, for Mr. Hollis had told her time and again how she shouldn’t toy with the humans, shouldn’t play with them, least they start to look into the source of their fears. People could only live in terror for so long before they started to search for an end to it, and if they saw rabbits as the source of that fear?

Even he couldn’t survive a spear through the back, no matter what form, and she, as young as she was, was even more vulnerable than him. So a guilty pleasure that she only allowed herself to feel once or twice in a town, and even then only on the outcasts, those criminals no one else would believe, so the rumors of rabbits and fear never got back to her father.

On and on this goes, the two of them hunting and traveling and just enjoying the life they never should have lived, watching the world evolve around them as they remain the same.

For just under twenty years they live this life, forget about the job just waiting for them to return, until finally Mr. Hollis buys a boat and crew that would take them back to Silas.

The entire trip she pretends they’re going somewhere new, that this is another Silas in another place, so the changes she knows they’ll find won’t break her heart as much as they had before. 

In part it works, for her heart doesn’t sink in her chest immediately when they come upon the sign that marks their way towards the village, pointing straight ahead and reminding them that, from that point, it’s only another few hour’s walk. They’d be able to make it before nightfall, though it was more likely than not that they would wait for the cover of darkness, where they could slip up to the house without having to worry about avoiding the citizens of the town and the changes that waited for them.

But in part it doesn’t, because she knows. She knows the road they’re walking on, knew it when it was just a deer path that her father and some of the men had worked to clear enough to let wagons and carts run through, and seeing it as it is now, well-worn and wide enough for an entire party of travelers to drive side by side? The very ground they walk upon is a reminder that nothing is the same, that everything has changed, and it hurts to think about.

So she doesn’t. They continue to walk down the road, the smells of civilization and humanity slowly becoming overwhelming the closer they become, until they’re just outside the town and decide that shifting, at least for the last half mile, would be safer.

They can’t be sure how much their former home has changed, and sometimes being vulnerable as an animal is so much preferable to their human forms. At least as animals they can ignore the pain and suffering they know will be there, will have surely grown from the last time they had seen Silas under Timmy’s rule, that’s just a part of normal life they had been able to avoid since then.

They get through the forest without harm, shift just beyond the circle of firelight that flickers through the thin curtains hanging in the windows, and knock.

It’s Timmy’s eldest son who answers the door, visibly exhausted, though he brightens when, after a few minutes of confusion, he recognizes them. Immediately, servants are woken and rooms are prepared, a child-like energy, much like the kind he had had twenty years ago, when he had only been in his late teens instead of half way through thirty, overcoming him as he ushers them into the study.

It’s a rush, seeing how so much of the house has changed since their last visit, and for a moment Laura wants to see Timmy and ask how he could let such changes happen. It was still her home, no matter how legal the transfer had been, and while she had known Silas the town would change, part of her had always expected Silas, the house where she had grown up, to be the same.

It’s an annoyance she quickly forces away- she’s adapted to change before, and would do so again.

So instead she graciously accepts the wrist offered to her willingly by a serving boy who would soon be a man, a few mouthfuls of his blood enough to sate her thirst, before settling in to talk to Timmy’s son, who introduces himself as Theodore, a name Laura had known but forgotten between the visits.

If she’s honest, she’s impressed. Even before they make their request, Theodore launches into his speech- he’s been keeping track of the time, marking the years, and already has the rooms prepared. A list of criminals from the surrounding towns has been sent to him, their crimes written out with the simplest of details, so they could pick and choose their sacrifices without having to interview every single person in the prisons. Servants who had been sworn to secrecy, much like the two men she and Mr. Hollis had just drunk from, had been staffed to serve their every need and desire, so they could spend the next few weeks relaxing from their travels.

A tour of the town, which he had spent his every day improving since their last visit, had already been arranged for whenever they wanted it, and a dozen yards of the strongest rope money could buy had already been obtained, for he, like his father before him, wanted to watch the ritual.

It’s a little bit overwhelming, for both of them, the intensity Theodore shows within the first half hour of their visit, but for the most part it’s just amusing. Humans, Mr. Hollis would say later, always burned bright, but he was one of the brightest he’d met in a long time.

They accept his request to watch and ensure his safety, promising that they would make sure no harm befell him. Mr. Hollis takes the list to peruse later, after they had gotten cleaned up and some sleep.

And Laura asks him to make sure Timmy knows of their arrival, for she would love to see her friend after so long apart.

Part of her should have expected it- Timmy had been old when they had last been to visit, his health failing quickly, bit still it hurt when Theodore hung his head and said that that would be impossible, for his father passed two years ago in his sleep, his body unable to keep up with the demands of life any longer. It hurt more than the changes in the town, more than the death her father had been forced to put her through in order to change her, more than anything else she had ever felt.

Because now Timmy, her best friend, the one she had, for some reason, though would be there with her for this entire journey, was gone.

They spend a couple days at the estate, giving them the time they needed in order to rest and clean themselves up, for Laura to pay her respects at the little grave Theodore takes her to, for Mr. Hollis to read through the list and pick out the candidates he could interview to find the five. The list makes it easier- instead of combing through the simple thieves and liars for the creatures the world would be better off without, he can search through them to begin with, looking for the worst of the worst, the ones he could feed to the anglerfish god without feeling the overwhelming guilt that sometime crashed over him when he had to feed from the innocent. 

Finally, when the sunken look leaves Laura’s face and he has a dozen people chosen to be possible candidates, Mr. Hollis, with Laura in tow, leaves for the surrounding village. It’s Laura’s third sacrifice, and it’s time she start to learn the process, so, if something ever happens to him, she can take over and keep their god sated. So they travel in one of the carriages Theodore has to give them, accompanied by some of the servants in a secondary carriage so the chosen sacrifices can be easily transported, to the closest town in the list.

It’s fascinating for Laura, really, to look at the faces behind the bars, to see those she would think of evil and worthy to be sacrificed, and to watch her father walk past them without a second glance, to settle upon one of the most innocent faces there- a teenage boy, kept in a separate cell, his face streaked with tears as he looked up at them. Tears she had been sure were because he was innocent, because some mistake had been made and he was about to die because of it, but tears that quickly turned to laughter when Mr. Hollis asked him about his crimes. Laughter that made it so hard for him to speak, to confirm in that panicked, almost forced way people had when talking to Mr. Hollis sometimes, that yes, he had done that to his family, and he had taken his knife to those girls, and there was a reason why he was alone in his cell, because his last cell mate hadn’t made it.

Mr. Hollis explained, as the youth was tied with rope and escorted to the secondary carriage by the servants, that humans found it hard to argue when faced with age and fear. And who could be more terrifying than him? When faced with an antediluvian servant of a god, when he just let a hint of his true nature, who even she hadn’t seen yet, who could lie, for surely he would see right through it?

One day, when she was old enough, she would have the same ability, to fix a mortal with her gaze and get the truth out of them. But for now, she had to take the word of the people they were taking, since so many of them were more than willing to admit their crimes, and hope that she didn’t make a mistake.

The next four he leaves her to question- he stands there, right at the door, pretending to be a protective force to keep the jailers at ease, but he doesn’t speak. He stands there and listens, watches as Laura questions those he had chosen, and waits for her to make a final decision.

The first three she’s sure- the way they talk about the crime, with pride in their voices and details that they only would have known had they been there, had they completed the crime in question, left no doubt in her mind that they were guilty, and each time Mr. Hollis later confirmed her choice to take them. They had all had that little light she had become used to looking for, that only sparked when they talked about the pain they had caused others, and by that she had known them.

But the fourth, the fourth man she talked to to be their fifth and final sacrifice, he had been different. When she had brought up his crimes he had flinched away, as if her very words had stung him to the core. He claimed them, yes, but hesitantly, missing details and constantly stumbling over his words, as if part of him wanted to refuse. To refuse to her his guilt and claim his innocence, but he didn’t.

Curled into a ball, his eyes dull and lifeless, Laura hadn’t been able to take him, hadn’t been able to claim him for the god her father and herself worshiped.

Again, after they had left, Mr. Hollis would confirm her decision correct- an innocent man, arrested and claiming the crimes of his brother, who would be put to death shortly after they left. It hadn’t been hard to find the man’s brother the night before, to make him confess, to get him into their cart and a meeting with the jailer to get the wrongly accused man released. He would be torn apart over his continued life- he had taken the blame so his brother, who he loved so much, could live, but he live he would, innocent as he was, with the entire town knowing the truth upon his release.

That is, if he didn’t continue to proclaim his guilt and force the judicial system of the town to put him on trial, where the evidence and his claims would undoubtedly find him guilty. A guilty claim that would lead to his death, if he didn’t take the out Mr. Hollis had set up for them.

With their five sacrifices obtained, they return to Silas, where Theodore waits for them to help move the prisoners from cart to room, insisting on doing it in person instead of leaving the two of them and the servants to do so. It’s partly curiosity, Laura knows- he wants to see the sacrifice, wants to meet the men and women face to face and know them, but she still can’t help but find it a little strange. Timmy wanted to see it because he wanted to be sure the sacrifices were guilty, but Theodore? He wanted to know for the sake of knowing.

While knowledge was important and she loved that someone other than her father wanted to know what their lives were like, it still struck her as strange.

A strangeness that she quickly shook off when, after their sacrifices had been cleaned and fed and locked into their respective rooms, Theodore offered them that tour of their old home, to show them how much Silas had changed over the years.

They accept, because it’s still another week until the anglerfish god needs her meal, and there’s only so much lying around and resting the two of them can do before the difference between that and their normal schedule begins to drive them insane. So they accept his invitation, and, with her heart hardened against the changes she knew were going to be present, Laura takes his offered arm and the three of them leave.

There are changes, yes, but perhaps actually ones that are for the best, because the town is so unrecognizable from how it last was it takes away her words in the best way possible.

He wanted it to be like his father described it being when they were young, Theodore explains as they walk through the town, shop fronts open so by-passers can glance in and watch the art being made, homes spread apart so they’re no longer stacked one on top of the other, the streets clean and the people actually easy to smile. He wanted it to be a place of art, a beautiful world where everyone could live, and while he had had to take some extreme measures-nothing too drastic, but more like the destruction of every part of the town to rebuild it so it better fits that vision- to make that world exist, it had been worth it.

It feels so foreign and yet so much like home Laura almost starts to cry, the tears only kept away by her father’s reassuring hand on her shoulder, his own eyes watering at the sight of the town he had put so much work and effort into making thriving.

By the time they were heading back towards the estate, the thought of having to return again and again in order to keep their god asleep no longer felt like a burden upon her heart. Whereas Timmy had let things slip beyond his control, just unable to enforce his will beyond keeping everyone alive, Theodore had yanked the slipping paradise her father had started back on track, and for that she was grateful.

Every day she visited the town, examining the shops and walking among the houses, watching the children learn their trades and life flow around them, for once at peace with the familiarity instead of longing for the new and unknown like she had most of her life, ever since she had been turned. Every day she visits, basking in the normalcy, until the day of the sacrifice, which went smoothly, the prisoners dancing into the warm embrace of the glow, Theodore watching from a safe distance and tied to a stake so he couldn’t follow them over.

But then, once again, it’s time to leave. Their job’s done, there’s so much of the world left to see, they have to move on if they wanted to continue. As if he can read her mind, Mr. Hollis insists- if they don’t leave now, when the town is just starting to regrown on them, they won’t. They’ll never leave, spending their time sulking in the darkness, unable to live as they should for fear of causing the people of Silas grief. While it was nice to see their home flourishing, they couldn’t be part of that.

Theodore understands, perhaps more than she herself does, and by the time she returns from her final visit to the town, he has bags packed and a carriage ready to leave at any moment, the horses antsy from her father’s presence. He meets her at the gate with a young woman by his side, his soon-to-be-bride, so she can finally meet for real the people from the stories he told her from his childhood. It’s a brief meeting, only long enough for the fear to drain from her, allowing her to offer her hand for a shake, and then they’re gone.

Gone for another twenty years, year’s they spent ignorant of the world they’re leaving behind for knowledge of the one they’re heading towards.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: I am on a writing roll! :D It’s finally time for Role Reversal, Part 4! And, hopefully, if this writing trend continues, I’ll get Part 5 out soon! Sorry this is such a slow burn. There’s a lot I’ve had to set up, but now we should only have about two hundred years left before we reach modern times. Because, if, in canon, Carmilla was turned in 1698, and we’re following that same timeline, then it would be about 1758 at the very beginning of this, since Laura’s been around for 60 years or so. Just so you guys know where we are. And the next two hundred years after this should go pretty quickly. But anyway, enough rambling. I hope you guys enjoy part 4!
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own Carmilla: The Series. U by Kotex does.

Oh, what another twenty years they are, twenty years spent seeing the world as no mortal ever could. 

Mr. Hollis insists on traveling to the New World this time- partly because it’s only been sixty years since she had been turned, nowhere near long enough for everyone to be dead yet. Their memory might have faded, the young children now beyond old and gray, but something, a single image, might have lingered. And that lingering thought was a danger to them and their way of life, something Mr. Hollis couldn’t allow. 

Even though Laura longed for the places she had come to love, longed for the cultures and foods and countries she had lived in for the past sixty years, she understood. If they were to die, killed by the rumor of creatures that whipped the humans into a mob, no one would be there to continue their task, to worship their god as she needed to be, and that was something they couldn’t risk. 

Even though her father had yet to tell her the reason behind the ceremony, Laura could sense it. Sense there was some other reason beyond just keeping the angler fish quiet and calm for the ceremony, one she would one day learn of. But that time was not yet near, probably wouldn’t be near for years, and she had to trust. 

So to the New World they went, to watch so many histories end and a new one begin. 

They’re horrified, when they first land, of the stink of death that hangs over the world. Deaths from war, deaths from disease, deaths that could have been prevented so easily had treaties just been upheld and respected. Criminals abound, some dressed the best they had seen since the old cities, far too many for them to even begin to try to find a solution. It left a sour taste in their mouths, for even in other places, when they knew their efforts would mean nothing in a month, at least they felt like they could find a place to start. 

But here? Laura and Mr. Hollis fed with abandon, no guilt accumulating with the rest when they split the blood. They never killed, not once, but never did they go hungry either. 

But even then, the New World drew them in, captured them with its charm and promise. They travel through the settled areas, visiting the colonists that had created their own versions of the world; some up close, when their presence wouldn’t be noticed, others as far away as they could, the citizens seemingly unfriendly of strangers. They spend a lot of time as animals, a bear and a hare fitting in perfectly fine with the forested lands. 

When they’ve had their fill of the mimicked world they had left behind, they continue on. West, towards the mountains, where they could run as free as their feet would take them, exploring untouched marvels no human had ever seen before solely because the terrain made it impossible. North, into plains that turned to tundra even as they walked, months spent with only each other, father and daughter exploring to their heart’s content. From there as far south as they could go, to the very tip of the continent before returning north, traveling along the spine, jumping from mountain tip to mountain tip. 

They dipped their toes into the freezing waters of the West, used them to clean the dirt of travel from their skins after crossing the plains, laughing and talking in the dozens of languages they learned from the people they met and befriended along the way. Days were spent on those shores, retelling the stories they had picked up from the Native people, memorizing them lest they forget a single detail. 

Part of Laura almost forgets Europe, forgets the sacrifice they have to perform- so much to see, so much to do, she could spend the next hundred years in one place and never realize everything she wants to live through. But all too soon Mr. Hollis forces her back- a mere four years until their next ceremony, until they need to be back at Silas, and the longer they stay away, the worse it will be. 

He refused to leave the sacrifice to chance, refused to even consider putting it at risk, so leave they had to if they wanted to make it on time. 

It takes them another two years to travel back to the East, back to the colonies they had started in, and for once Laura is glad for her father’s demand- war is brewing, only months away if the rumors are right, and to stay would mean to fight. 

A fight they could easily profit from; Mr. Hollis had spoken, once, in a longing tone that almost scared her, of the feast carnage brought, of how a vampire could become drunk from the blood that fell freely in the middle of a war. Of the rush pulling the last few drops could bring, how it was almost good for them to be there- to end the lives that would have been spent in agony during those last few hours, to taste the very essence human life had in those last few drops, free from guilt or sin since they were to die anyway. 

He had told her of the soldiers who had blessed him with their last breath for sparing them, soldiers from every religion and empire he had been present for. Half of the gods were named after him, he had once claimed, for his presence, when he had been young and alone, had been common on the field. And when he could quiet an entire field of screams in mere moments? 

Well, who wouldn’t base their god after that? 

Had this happened earlier, had it been ten years before hand, they would have stayed and played the giver of mercy Mr. Hollis had been so many times before. But with only two years, their god must come first. 

There’s always a hint of disappointment when they’re forced to leave, but never before had Laura seen Mr. Hollis so upset. Never before had she seen him almost mourn their departure, so close to the gorging he craved now that it was in reach. 

He slips up, only once, but that once is enough. They push the body over the side in the middle of the night, his previously massive form now small, the splash light enough that, when another member of the crew comes to investigate, they’re able to claim it was nothing more than fish, perhaps a dolphin breeching the surf. 

By the time the sun rises, the body is long gone, and the crew member is written off as having fallen over the side after getting drunk the night before. Mr. Hollis spends most of the day asleep, and Laura can’t help but look at him and wonder. 

She knew he was no saint; neither was she. They fed from the living to continue their own undeaths, drinking the blood from their veins like water from a canteen. The only reason she hadn’t killed yet was because of him, because he had always been there to stop her, to pull away the limb before she drained them dry.

He had spent millenniums alone. How much of that had passed before he had learned to do the same? 

They reach the shore with under a year remaining, more nights spent running than not to meet their deadline, kept awake even when they craved rest by draining the wildlife to supplement their diets, kept going by those small bursts of adrenaline when the bear or badger or deer passed into their mouths. Pushing and pushing and pushing, forgoing the paths to follow the crows, pulled by the urgency dragging them on. 

They make it just in time, with two days left to procure their victims, looking more like death than they ever had. Even Theodore, now gray with age, who had been expecting them, almost fainted at the sight when he opened the door, his teeth clashing as he bit back a scream. He had been quick to lead them into the house, into the kitchen for a quick clean up before he presented them to the rest of the household, waving away any and all of the servants who came to investigate, prepping the water for the baths himself. 

Laura was glad, the first time she saw herself reflected in the nearest shiny thing- a silver bowl, and even though she had been taught the laws of light and the patterns of reflection, still she hadn’t been able to make out herself in the monster that stared. The creature that was more red and black with blood and dirt than she thought possible, her hair knotted and massed into disgusting configurations she never could have imagined, her clothes barely identifiable as such. 

She almost cries when they begin to wash- the kitchen is no place for a true bath, but they remove as much as they can from their faces and their hands, changing into clothing a little less monstrous when their seeable skin’s been scrubbed as much as they can stand. They almost look and feel human when Theodore leads them from the room, taking them to their bedchambers, where true baths wait and servants who understand the situation stand by to help scrub the months of travel and death from them. 

Laura can’t help but laugh at the three old women who descend upon her father, forcing him into his quarters to be washed, though the sound dies on her tongue when her own maid, a pretty young thing who looks at her in just the right way that Laura’s almost sure Timmy shared secrets about her with his son, comes forward, leading her into the room. 

She’s helpful, removing the stains from her skin with tender touches, tenderness that continues when she offers Laura her wrist for a snack before bed, a piece of furniture she ends up warming the other half of when they finally sleep.

And in the morning, when Ell- Theodore’s ward from another household, who had been informed of her status and still asked to be her maid-helps her slide into a new dress, left specifically for her, Laura can’t help but marvel at the woman and wonder. Wondering she quickly pushes away, for she has a task to do, a mission to complete. 

A mission already completed by Theodore, apparently, for when she arrives at the study, her father and Theodore are already present, relaxed as they talk about the five he had found. 

Worried that they wouldn’t make it, Theodore had taken it upon himself to gather the five himself, going through the jails and hand picking those to meet the light, making sure with all of the resources he had at his disposal that they were truly guilty of the crimes. Crimes he listed for them as they sipped at their tea, murders and assaults and defilements falling from his lips like the topic were the weather. Bad enough to curl her stomach, though he didn’t even flinch as he rattled off the list, his tone steady, if a bit tired, as he spoke. 

How much of that was because he was just used to it and how much because he was hiding his true feelings, Laura wasn’t sure, but her heart ached for the man. Time hadn’t been kind, just like it hadn’t been kind to his father, and while it at least didn’t show beyond the crinkles in his skin and white in his hair, it could easily be heard. 

What Mr. Hollis felt, she couldn’t be sure, but all he did was sit there, quietly, listening as Theodore spoke. When he was done, all he asked was to be taken to the five, so he could double check and leave if one needed to be replaced. Only those who had passed his test, he had reiterated, would be given to the light. Only the guilty would die. 

For a single moment, Laura couldn’t help but think of the bones they had left at the bottom of the ocean, but she quickly pushed those thoughts to the sides as they rose and left the room for the quarters. 

They all pass, and when they dance over the edge into the light the next day, it restarts the clock, the hourglass that had dictated the last eighty years of her life. 

For a week they remain at the manor, visiting the town like always- it’s grown but somehow remained just as beautiful, Theodore taking an active hand in keeping it so. For them, he claimed, so they would have somewhere that felt like home when they returned to complete their task, one he knew weighed heavily on them. And for a week Laura spent her free time with Ell, telling her stories of the worlds Laura had seen, of the places she had been and the people she had met, weaving together a tale of infinity for the child that had taken an interest in her. 

A week of companionship, of readily offered snacks and quick, stolen kisses in between words as they hid from the others, keeping to themselves. 

For a week they stayed there, resting and enjoying the feeling of waking up in the same bed every morning. But when that week ended, just Laura knew it would, Mr. Hollis told her it was time to go. 

Laura said no. 

Although they never once raised their voices, for the entire day the humans avoided their quarters, audibly cowering away from the doors when they passed, the stench of their fear almost overpowering. A fear Laura should have felt, buy all measures of sanity, but couldn’t. She was tired, ninety eight years old, with only a few weeks over the last eighty years of stability and a home. She loved to travel, loved to be with him, loved him as much as a daughter could love her father, but she was tired. Too tired to be scared of him and the furious rage she could feel boiling under his skin, though even if she hadn’t been exhausted she wouldn’t have been able to fear him. 

He was her father. Except for the mostly healed marks on her neck she had asked for, he had never hurt her. Not once. Why start now?

So even with every fact he threw at her, even with the knowledge that she might ruin everything the two of them had worked to keep a secret, she didn’t want to leave. She wanted to stay, to rest, to just be. 

She wanted to stay with Ell, for as long as she could, and refused to leave the manor. 

Mr. Hollis disappeared that night, his things packed and the carriage gone before the rest of the house awoke the next morning, not even a note to say good bye. 

For weeks Laura was devastated, the fact that she was so easily left behind, despite it being her wish, almost tearing her apart. It hurt, unlike any hurt she had felt before- even surrounded by humans, she was acutely aware that she was alone, that no one else like her was anywhere nearby. That the secure, protective presence that had been by her side since she had been born almost a hundred years before was gone. 

It hurt, so much, but the pain faded quick enough. If he was petty enough to leave her without even a good bye, why waste her time mourning? They would see each other again- immortality practically promised that. But her time at the manor was limited, and she wanted to spend every second she could enjoying it. 

For the next four years she lived once again in the Silas manor, spending her time with Ell and Theodore, exploring every nook and cranny of the town until she knew it as well as the version she had roamed growing up, the sights and smells becoming the daily norm as she just lived. There was nothing outside the town limits, nothing but forests she ran through as a hare when she was bored and the others couldn’t entertain her, at least nothing in the physical. It was all abstract, stories she told to Ell when they wandered the old paths, Laura leading the way through bramble and thicket to the old clearings, untouched in the last forty years. Where they could lay curled around each other in the sun, her ear pressed to Ell’s chest to hear her heart as she spoke, interspersing language lessons, teaching Ell random words from the languages she had learned. 

Did she love Ell? No, not in the way Ell wanted, and both of them knew it. There was something, a similar fondness for all of the girls Laura had spent her time with throughout the years, only stronger for their time together. But not the love that made the offer of eternity fall from her lips, though Laura had thought about it often. Had thought about going to find her father, bringing him back, making him turn her if that was what Ell wanted. But she never offered.

Ell was a safe place, welcoming arms and soft lips, a warm body to curl into in bed, and both were happy. For the four years Laura stayed, they were. 

For four years, until Ell’s father came for her, her intended husband in tow. Within two days of their arrival they were married, a small, simple ceremony that bound Ell to this strange man, making her his. Two days later they left- Ell in tears as she said good bye to Silas, one last kiss pressed to Laura’s lips in secret, pleas for forgiveness for leaving whispered into her neck when Laura had embraced her to say good bye. 

And for the first time in four years, Laura found herself once again alone, this time without the comfort her friend had been able to offer her. She tried to stay- for another month she roamed the halls of Silas Manor, talking politely to Theodore when the opportunity for conversation arose, to his third wife when their paths crossed (the first had died in childbirth, the second of an illness. This one was pregnant, though, and healthy, so the hope that the line would continue was there), to the servants when they could and their duties didn’t keep them too busy. For another month she tried, tried to refind the peace that had been shattered. 

She found herself running through the forest more and more, going faster and faster, further and further, trying to escape the feeling of being alone, being lost, that everything was spinning out of control and no matter what she did she couldn’t stop it. She was one hundred and two years old, the oldest she had ever been, but in that month she never felt quite so young. 

For a month this continued, until, one day on her run, she found herself in the middle of a clearing, deep in the woods where she could change back into human and scream. Scream without the worry of anything finding her, or if it did it wouldn’t be a threat. Like anything could hurt her, like any human knife or animal tooth could find its mark and end her. 

Part of her dared the universe to try as she screamed and lashed out, destroying the trees at the edge of the clearing to enlarge it, giving her that much more room to feel. To feel the century and feel her youth, both at conflict with each other as she tried to make sense of her world.   
She only paused when, while turning to slam her fist into the trunk of the nearest tree, the sight of an old brown bear stopped her in her tracks. 

He was human again before she reached him, her arms wrapping around Mr. Hollis’ waist as she buried her face into his chest and cried, his own arms clutching her to him tightly as he promised that he was there, it was alright, that everything was going to be okay. 

They were back together, and everything was going to be okay. 

For three days he stayed at Silas Manor while she got ready to go, saying her good byes to the servants she had made friends with while he filled her in on what he had been doing during those years. Traveling, of course, though he kept within a few hundred miles, just in case. If she had looked, she would have picked up his scent in a few days, would have been able to trace it back to wherever he had most recently been. If she had needed him, though he was glad to see that, until recently, when he had come to find her at the sound of her rampage, she hadn’t. 

She had survived for the last four years on her own, keeping their secret, and he was proud. 

Within a few days Laura was packed and ready to go, her good byes said, the servants who knew what she was knowing they would probably never see her again, the others wishing her good travels until she returned. A bitter sweet moment, but one she took with a smile- she had practice saying those good byes, and would only get better as time went on. 

It was these few days, when Laura wasn’t asking him what she had missed, that Mr. Hollis talked to Theodore and got him started on the newest addition to Silas, for the next time Laura needed to rest. Someplace where she could relax, perhaps among children her own physical age, where those children could better themselves. Someplace that could be built in the next sixteen years, to be ready and waiting for when they returned. Mr. Hollis drew the plans himself, leaving them in Theodore’s care for the future. 

Ready to go, Laura and Mr. Hollis left for the East, to finally return to their old haunts, the places they had missed while they waited for their old friends to die and stories of them to go as well, leaving Theodore and his family to oversee the construction of Silas University.


End file.
